Unlocking Lasting Happiness: Embracing the Journey, Not Just the Destination

I am not a psychologist or a psychoanalyst, but I am extremely curious. During the nearly two years I faced depression, I came to think that my case was terribly unique, and that no one, except myself, would be able to solve it (yes, perhaps it was a bit arrogant of me, but I was deeply depressed and disheartened, so I hope you can understand 😊).

Initially, I sought to read everything I could about happiness, including Harvard’s method for achieving happiness, the Happiness Hypothesis, among others. These readings showed me that the significant problem I was facing did not make me unique in any way. In fact, based on some scientific tests to determine people’s depression levels, I guess that more them 90% of the world’s population may experience at least mild depression.

The positive aspect of this learning journey was that I discovered various different ways to attain happiness. My interpretation of what I read is as follows: Happiness lies in the very process of seeking happiness (yes, it’s redundant and recursive). It is not possible to be happy all the time because happiness is not a goal that is achieved. In fact, happiness arises in the pursuit, not in the end.

To make things clearer, let’s use an example. Let’s say you enjoy dancing. The first thing you want to do is practice and dance as much as you can. By attending practice venues, you will meet people with similar tastes and feel part of a group. By forming connections with your colleagues, those friendships may last a lifetime. With practice and dedication, you might even get invited to perform in a dance show or give a lecture about your favorite music style; this will bring you recognition and admiration. And as you become more enthusiastic and practice even more, you improve, and this virtuous cycle repeats itself.

So, in this example, when was the person happy? Was it during the performance? The lecture? Indeed, yes, all these moments are happy moments, but they do not last. The performance will end, the style you know might go out of fashion, and it’s quite possible that at some point, you may no longer be in the spotlight. These are the peak points, highly joyful moments. However, lasting happiness lies in the companionship with your dance colleagues and in the continuous practice of dancing, in the satisfaction of learning something new, regardless of the style.

Lasting happiness comes from the process, not the result. Therefore, if this person suddenly decided that he/sh had reached the pinnacle, that after a dance performance for an audience of two thousand people, he/she had nothing else to do in the world of dance, the only option left is retirement and stop dancing. Happiness would gradually dissipate until it vanished.

So, it doesn’t matter if the show was good or bad. You were there because you loved to dance, not because you wanted to show off to anyone. The next day, you’ll go back to doing what you love the most: dancing, meeting your friends, laughing, and being happy.

In conclusion, happiness lies in the process, not just the result.

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