Well, it’s time to bring more structure into my life. Writing at 2 a.m. isn’t working. I used to wake up early at 6 a.m. to take my daughter to school. Writing at 2 a.m. and waking up at 6 a.m. is not sustainable.

I’ll try to write while waiting for dinner to arrive. My daughter got me hooked on Hawaiian Food, and I have just ordered it. I’ll try to finish everything before the food arrives. Let’s add some excitement and race against the clock.

Regarding relationships, I confess I haven’t read much about the subject. My main source of information I’ve got is YouTube.

Now, let’s get to the topic of this post. It seems there’s a social idea of how a relationship should be. The younger generations don’t adapt well to this standard, and many things are happening, leaving parents confused. I won’t discuss the new types of love that are emerging. I’ll focus only on the basic idea “when two people are in a relationship, whether dating or marriage, they become one.”

Everything I’ve seen indicates that this is the worst possible thing that can happen in a relationship. The idea of two lives merging into one, solely focused on the couple, leads to doing everything together, and the “I” disappears from the sentences, replaced by “we.”

This type of relationship wears out over time. People think they’ll be in a relationship forever and won’t need anyone else besides themselves.

There are several issues with this idea. It usually stems from the fear of loneliness. If the idea is to have someone to take care of you (and vice versa) for the rest of your life and avoid loneliness, this idea does not work because it only serves one person. In this model, the couple will inevitably split up, and one of the partners will be left alone. Even if they spend their whole lives together, in general, one of them will eventually die before the other. So, the one who remains will face an extremely lonely old age. They will be alone at an age when forming new connections becomes more challenging, especially due to physical limitations imposed by advanced age. From this perspective, an exclusive and closed relationship limited only to family members ends up being selfish. So, how could we avoid a lonely old age?

By cultivating our own lives and keeping many friends.

In other words, for a relationship to succeed, both individuals need to continue their separate lives and add a shared life together. Each person maintains their own friends and also makes new friends from their partner’s social circle.

The most important thing is for the couple’s life to remain healthy, without erasing each other’s personality. For example, if one person enjoys fishing and the other doesn’t, that’s okay. One can go fishing with friends while the other goes to a theater with their own friends. Both will be happy and also enjoy moments together, like having a warm soup on a cold night while watching Netflix.

==== Dinner has arrived, exactly 30 minutes after I started writing… Let’s see if I can be faster tomorrow 🤣 ===

Each person can have different preferences. The problem with becoming a closed couple is that it always results in excluding certain preferences. For example, if I enjoy fishing and my partner doesn’t, that activity gets excluded from both of our lives. This situation gradually undermines the relationship to the point where neither person knows each other as individuals anymore. Without their own personalities, they become uninteresting.

So, here’s a tip: support your partner in remaining an individual. After all, you fell in love with the person he/she was. Trying to artificially turn them into a reflection of yourself will make the person you fell in love with cease to exist.

And let’s not forget the traumas that will remain open and poke at the relationship over trivial things. After all, you “gave up your dream for your beloved one”. How can he/she not even help you washing the dishes? We’ll discuss this type of trauma further in the psychoanalysis section.

Today was a very tiring day… at the end of a week that was soooo exhausting… it had been a while since I engaged in physical exercise, and then the doctor tells me that I need to lose 20 pounds… So, this week was the first of many, eating less, running a lot, and practicing a lot of yoga, at least until reaching the ideal weight.

Well, to use one of those internet pop phrases: discipline is consistently doing what you don’t want to do. So, today is a day to write even though I feel like going to sleep 😴

Just yesterday, I said I would post something new every day, and today I was already tempted to go to bed early. Butttt, it’s past midnight and I’m still here, so the deal is to write a bit.

One thing that seems to be quite common among most spiritual philosophies is Purpose. My first encounter with these theories was through Jung books. Although Freud is the father of psychoanalysis and his texts are much better structured and more didactic than Jung’s, I still find Jung’s perspective broader. Reading Jung’s texts is almost like torture; he goes around in too many circles before arriving at a conclusion, and even then, the conclusion is open to interpretations. Nevertheless, in those last 30 lines of each text, he always brings some crazy insights that change Everything.

Well, getting back to Purpose, today I’m reading a book called “Purpose: The Courage to Be Who We Are” by Sri Prem Baba. I mentioned Jung because the idea of purpose in both of them is very similar. In general terms, there are people who believe that everything in the universe is random and that we are here just passing through, and we will return to nothingness when we die. To me, that is as valid a possibility, just like any other.

However, thinking that we come from nothing and will return to nothing is rather depressing. So, I tend to like the theory that says that we are in this world for a reason, a Purpose, it is way more comforting. In the case of this book, the author defines the Ego as your incarnation and your life on Earth. And your purpose is what made your spirit decide to incarnate and spend some time here on Earth.

In this case, the Ego would be the driving force that helps you survive in this world. Its main objective is survival and accumulating resources so that your purpose can be fulfilled. Therefore, it’s the Ego that makes you hide all your childhood traumas, that adjusts you to life in society, that makes you work, earn money, achieve autonomy, and become a productive human being.

Problems start to arise when people start living for the Ego and forget about their Purpose. Thus, an internal battle begins where your unconscious wants you to “save the whales,” but your Ego wants you to become a “stock market day trader.”

When these two aspects misalign significantly, depression emerges. The best definition I’ve heard of depression comes from actor Jim Carrey, something like this: Depression is your body telling you that it’s tired of living the life of a character that wasn’t created by you.

Indeed, it’s when you start realizing that nothing in your life was done for you, but rather to please your parents, friends, and teachers (representing society in general); ideas cultivated in your mind as the right thing to do.

Some people will live their entire lives for the Ego. Others will experience the famous Consciousness Expansion. It’s when a person starts questioning the why of everything in their life. It’s not easy, in fact, it’s extremely difficult, especially if your life has everything that everyone said you’d need. A happy family, children, a good job. How can you look at all that and still feel empty inside? It’s almost like a hint of ingratitude towards everything and everyone who has been in your life until now.

Even so, living as that character, unless you’re lucky enough for it to be aligned with your Purpose, will leave you with a feeling of emptiness and loneliness.

That’s how we describe the problem. I think I’ve depressed everyone enough already. Now, I’ll say that Purpose is not something that someone will assign to you. It’s something you need to remember. Remember the reason you decided to experience this live on Earth.

To remember, it seems to be almost a consensus that everyone still remembers their purpose in the first seven years of life. During that period, if you ask any child what they want to be, they will tell you right away. They want to be a firefighter, a dancer, a scientist, etc. It’s the period where the Ego hasn’t yet created its survival mechanisms, and the little person still feels that they can do whatever they want; in other words, they can fulfill their Purpose. So, it would be equivalent to asking you today something like: You have just won the lottery, as a bonus, you have got a pill that cures and prevents all diseases, also you get superpowers that no one can ever harm you. What would you do? Without worrying about making money, in a world without violence or diseases, what would you choose to do? What you’d choose to be?

The answer to that question is your Purpose. Stripping away all your traumas and survival needs, you find your purpose. Of course, it’s not easy to discover it if you’ve never thought about it before. But the Universe always gives you some hints.

Have you ever got a break to think about why people come to you? What do they usually ask you? Could it be something like: “Do you think I could be a good dancer?” even if you’re a stock market analyst? Or, “What would be a good spot to camp in the up town?” even if you’re an automobile production manager.

Such questions don’t come out of nowhere. Clearly, you have an interest in these subjects outside of your work hours. You are a reference on diverse topics to the point where people notice it and come to to ask you about it. These are already excellent clues to find your Purpose. People have noticed it before you did.

Furthermore, there’s the darned synchronicity. I’ll explain that better in another text, but, in summary, it’s all the inexplicable “coincidences” that happen and lead you down a certain path without you even realizing it. For example, when you have a strong desire to go watch a musical at the theater but you’re short on cash. “Out of nowhere,” you decide to go to the church bingo and end up winning tickets to see the musical you wanted. Jung wrote a short book about synchronicity, tried to provide some mathematical explanations for it. In the end, the only conclusion was that there was no explanation. They are events so rare and improbable that they must mean something. That something would be directing you towards your purpose.

Well, that’s all for today. I think my purpose now is to go to bed and try to get some sleep. Lately, I wake up without having the slightest idea of how my upcoming days, months, or years will be. A regulated and programmed life eliminates the randomness that is essential for synchronicity to occur. If you schedule your week and strictly follow the plan, you leave very little room for life to happen. So, once in a while, trust the Universe. Leave an empty space in your agenda, go for a walk in the park, or watch a movie at the cinema during the day, in the middle of the week. Allow randomness to bring synchronicity to your live.

I am not a psychologist or a psychoanalyst, but I am extremely curious. During the nearly two years I faced depression, I came to think that my case was terribly unique, and that no one, except myself, would be able to solve it (yes, perhaps it was a bit arrogant of me, but I was deeply depressed and disheartened, so I hope you can understand 😊).

Initially, I sought to read everything I could about happiness, including Harvard’s method for achieving happiness, the Happiness Hypothesis, among others. These readings showed me that the significant problem I was facing did not make me unique in any way. In fact, based on some scientific tests to determine people’s depression levels, I guess that more them 90% of the world’s population may experience at least mild depression.

The positive aspect of this learning journey was that I discovered various different ways to attain happiness. My interpretation of what I read is as follows: Happiness lies in the very process of seeking happiness (yes, it’s redundant and recursive). It is not possible to be happy all the time because happiness is not a goal that is achieved. In fact, happiness arises in the pursuit, not in the end.

To make things clearer, let’s use an example. Let’s say you enjoy dancing. The first thing you want to do is practice and dance as much as you can. By attending practice venues, you will meet people with similar tastes and feel part of a group. By forming connections with your colleagues, those friendships may last a lifetime. With practice and dedication, you might even get invited to perform in a dance show or give a lecture about your favorite music style; this will bring you recognition and admiration. And as you become more enthusiastic and practice even more, you improve, and this virtuous cycle repeats itself.

So, in this example, when was the person happy? Was it during the performance? The lecture? Indeed, yes, all these moments are happy moments, but they do not last. The performance will end, the style you know might go out of fashion, and it’s quite possible that at some point, you may no longer be in the spotlight. These are the peak points, highly joyful moments. However, lasting happiness lies in the companionship with your dance colleagues and in the continuous practice of dancing, in the satisfaction of learning something new, regardless of the style.

Lasting happiness comes from the process, not the result. Therefore, if this person suddenly decided that he/sh had reached the pinnacle, that after a dance performance for an audience of two thousand people, he/she had nothing else to do in the world of dance, the only option left is retirement and stop dancing. Happiness would gradually dissipate until it vanished.

So, it doesn’t matter if the show was good or bad. You were there because you loved to dance, not because you wanted to show off to anyone. The next day, you’ll go back to doing what you love the most: dancing, meeting your friends, laughing, and being happy.

In conclusion, happiness lies in the process, not just the result.

“The Universe is a manifestation of Life, not the other way around.” This is the central statement of Biocentrism. Robert Lanza, Matej Pavsic, and Bob German, a biologist, a theoretical physicist, and an astronomer respectively, combined their knowledge to craft the most recent work (Jan 2023) on Biocentrism: “The Grand Biocentric Design: How Life Creates Reality”.

In quantum physics, a particle only becomes real (collapses into matter) when an observer detects it. It may sound odd, but in the quantum realm, dominated by infinitely tiny particles that make up atoms, traditional laws of physics do not apply.

The quantum universe is filled with energy waves. Analogously, imagine throwing a stone into a calm lake. Waves form and expand in circles in all directions from the impact point. Each segment of these circles represents a potential state of the original particle in the universe.

Transposing this idea to the visible world, consider a person landing in a football field. Imagine a 360-degree circle around this person. In the next second, we would have 360 distinct versions of this person, all in different actions and appearances. As time goes by, these “versions” move forward, expanding the circle and generating new versions, each distinct from the existing ones, without ever having two exact copies.

Facing this scenario, what would be the “real” version? In more technical terms, there is a wave function originating from the initial particle. When a conscious observer appears, the collapse of this wave function occurs, “creating” a real particle. In other words, when observing one of the people in the field, all other “versions” disappear and only the one you saw continues to exist.

Well, the key here is the “conscious” observer. I never found anything in quantum physics books about this. But the theory that Lanza wants to prove is that a conscious observer is necessary for the particle to leave the energy state and turn into a piece of matter. For this text to work, we need to “accept” this idea, but it’s important to make clear that this is only a theory. Nothing has been proven about this yet.

If this idea seems complex, you are not alone. Even Einstein had difficulties accepting the laws of quantum physics. If it confuses you, you are in excellent company.

Now, let’s discuss Biocentrism. Some clues that led to the development of this theory include universal “coincidences”, such as the Golden Ratio, among other numbers that frequently arise in nature. Surprisingly, if these numbers were slightly different, life as we know it would be impossible.

Analyzing these and other coincidences, the theory of Biocentrism was proposed. Basically, it states that a universe without Conscious Observers would not exist. The energy waves of the quantum universe would never be incited to collapse and form matter. Without matter, there would be no Universe.

An interesting reflection to understand this is:

If you answered yes, you are not alone. That is the most intuitive response. However, sound is a biological and conscious perception. The fall of the tree would generate a vast displacement of air, which would propagate for miles, possibly even affecting some branches on its way. But, without a conscious observer to recognize the vibration of the air as “sound“, sound does not exist.

The theory of Biocentrism is still in development, with the authors adding more theoretical basis and experiments every year. They seek to unify Quantum and Classical Physics to create a single set of laws that can describe both the quantum and visible worlds. The “Conscious Observer” may be the key to this connection.

According to Biocentrism, life creates the universe, because life is the Conscious Observer. Therefore, if the universe existed before life, it would remain in an infinite wave or energy and would never truly materialize.